


Nugs In A Closet

by Hexlorde



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of Scout Jim, No beta we die like mne, locking people in a room together to get them to confess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexlorde/pseuds/Hexlorde
Summary: It's been weeks and the majority of the Inner Circle is tired of Dorian and Cullen dancing around each other. Time to hatch a plot to lock them in an archive until they confess their feelings for each other! Nothing can go wrong with this plan...
Relationships: Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford
Kudos: 33





	Nugs In A Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy, guess who's still kicking! I decided to look through some of my old WIPs last night and the next thing I knew it was midnight and this was finished. This is pretty much unedited, so if you see something feel free to point it out. 
> 
> I might do a prequel or sequel at some point, but for now enjoy the Skyhold shenanigans!

Two weeks had passed since Cullen and Dorian had returned from their little excursion, and both of them had gone right back to avoiding each other, Evelyn noted with a sigh. Apparently they  _ hadn’t _ talked about what had happened in the courtyard, if the way they tip-toed around each other was any indication. Maker’s breath, if anything they seemed even more timid around each other!

Ah well, time for Plan B then.

It didn’t take long to get everything set up. Everyone who went to Crestwood had spent the trip talking about it, and the Chargers and Varric were easy to fill in. The hardest part was testing if the room would hold the soon-to-be lovebirds, and the only complication with that was keeping the staff from gossiping about it. Leliana probably knew about it, but as she didn’t say anything Evelyn took it as permission to continue. 

  
  


Cassandra balled her hands into fists as she approached Cullen’s door and took a deep breath to steady herself before knocking. It was going to be fine, she told herself. Cullen trusted her, he would follow her, and since it was really for his own good there was no reason to feel guilty. 

Even with her internal reassurances Cassandra felt her heart speed up when Cullen called “Enter,” and she pushed the door open. The Commander was standing over his desk, and his eyes widened when he saw her. 

“Ah, Cassandra, is something the matter?” he asked, his head tilted to the side. 

Cassandra had to swallow before she responded. “Not as such, Commander, but there is something I would like you to take a look at.” Cullen motioned for her to continue, leaving her to scramble for words. “The staff found some damaged books in the basement, and they wished to know if efforts should be made to restore them and the room they were found in.”

Cassandra could hardly breath as she watched Cullen, hoping that he wouldn’t see through her lie. Cullen didn’t say anything for a minute, leaving her plenty of time to berate herself over such a flimsy excuse.

“Alright,” Cullen said as he straightened up. “Lead the way Seeker.”

Cassandra let out a sigh of relief as she turned away and motioned for the Commander to follow her, missing as he pocketed something from a drawer in his desk.

  
  


Sera couldn’t stop herself from giggling as she approached Dorian. “Hey, fussybritches, come on!” she hissed at him. Dorian looked up from his book and grinned at her.

“And where are we going, exactly? I’d rather not have a repeat of the kitchen incident. Or the garden incident, for that matter.” Despite his apparent reservations Dorian was already on his feet. 

Sera didn’t bother to hold back her cackle. “I picked the look on the wine cellar,” she whispered. “Figured you’d want some, yeah?”

Dorian smirked and guesteured forwards. “Ah, that sounds marvelous. Lead on, then.”

Sera skipped down the stairs, giggling to herself over how easily the mage had fallen for it, and completely missing Dorian’s own laugh.

  
  


Evelyn glanced toward the study door, where Cassandra had left Cullen. Between that and Sera’s giggles it seemed like everything was going to plan. Bull and his Chargers had charmed the kitchen staff into letting them stay in the kitchen until Cullen and Dorian were safely locked in, while Varric and Blackwall were in the actual wine cellar. Cassandra was fidgeting in a nook next to Evelyn, where she had retreated after leaving Cullen.

The sound of Sera’s “Alright sparklestach, it’s over here,” filtered down the hall, and everyone tensed. Soon enough the elf rounded the corner with Dorian in tow and showed him the open study door. Dorian didn’t pause as he went in, and as soon as they heard him say “Commander, what are you doing here?” Sera slammed the door shut. 

Evelyn sealed the door with a flourish of magic, and there was a brief moment of silence. Then Cassandra started to  _ giggle _ , surprising everyone. Slowly, everyone else started to laugh as well, even Blackwall. “Maker’s Balls, I can imagine the looks on their faces!” he exclaimed. 

“Somewhere between ‘wait, there’s a bear there’ and ‘Scout Jim’s just barged in with a petty request,’ right?” Bull asked with a grin. He and the Chargers started dragging furniture in front of the door, despite their lingering snickers.

“Exactly,” Cassandra confirmed. Her smile melted back into something closer to her customary frown. “They will be alright, correct?”

“Relax Seeker, they’ll be fine,” Varric reassured. “We left some food and water in there, and as soon as they get their act together we’ll let them out. For now, all we have to do is sit back and wait.”

The warrior didn’t say anything, but her scowl lessened and her shoulders relaxed. Varric was right, what harm could come to her friends in a room that she looked over beforehand?

  
  


“You know, those bookshelves look awfully rickety. I imagine that one good shove could knock them onto our heads.”

Cullen sighed as he looked up. The Altus had yet to sit down ever since they were locked inside the abandoned archive, and his pacing was starting to grate. Even more unsettling, in Cullen’s opinion, was the way the other man was avoiding his eyes. “Dorian, why are you commenting on the safety of thousand year old shelves?”

Dorian stopped, his eyes still focused on a point just to the left of Cullen’s ear. “Oh you know, just pondering the best place for us to do impressions of nugs in heat.”

The words were spoken so casually that anyone unfamiliar with the man might have thought he was unconcerned. Yet Cullen saw the tension in the bare shoulder and heard the tightness in his voice. The commander rushed to say “Dorian, you know we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, I’m sure they’ll let us out if we ask-“

“Amatus.” Dorian stopped his rambling with a single word. His voice caught in his throat and he froze halfway out of his chair. Across the room, eyes rimmed in black finally met his. There was the expected fear, yes, but there was also  _ want _ . Cullen didn’t think it was only a physical thing, and it stole his breath away.

Ever so slowly Dorian prowled toward him. He didn’t stop until he was hovering over Cullen, forcing him to sit back down. Soft lips brushed against his ear as the mage whispered “I must admit, I was not expecting a situation like this to be how we revealed our little secret.” He pulled back just far enough that Cullen could see the mischievous smirk playing on his lips. “That hardly means I’m opposed to it.”

Cullen’s heart stuttered in his chest. This was far beyond anything he had expected when Cassandra came to lure him away, but he couldn’t find it in him to be anything other than ecstatic. “Only if you’re sure, my love,” he responded in a low tone.

Dorian’s eyes lit up. “I am. Now, I noticed an interesting shape in your pocket there… Something that might help us, perhaps?”

Cullen blushed as he thought of the flask he had grabbed. “Actually, it’s the liquor you left in my office last night. I thought that I might run in to you during whatever Cassandra had planned, and I thought I could give it back to you. You are always been better at setting up our nights together, and you indicated that you might want it.”

Dorian gave out a surprised laugh. “My my Commander, here I’ve been imagining all sorts of lecherous things and you’ve been so sweet!” His eyes darkened and his smirk returned. “That’s alright though, I can improvise.”

Cullen grew quite fond of that improvisation as he was tugged forward and his lips captured in a searing kiss. 

  
  


The Iron Bull was arranging yet another chair in front of the archive door when his ears picked up a thump. The next one was loud enough that even the humans could hear it, startling him and sending him back a step. The conspirators looked at each other. 

“That didn’t sound good.”

“Nah, they’re probably fine. Sparklebritches has spent enough time in libraries to know how not to kill himself, right?”

“We are letting them out  _ now. _ ”

Bull was halfway through the barricade when they heard the first moan. For a moment everyone froze as they struggled to place it. Was someone injured?

Faces quickly turned red as they heard another moan, this one definitely not from pain. “Well that was fast,” Varric mumbled.

Evelyn was a lovely shade of tomato as she hastily canceled the barrier. “You know what, the door swings toward them, they can get out on their own.” Even Cassandra nodded, and within moments the group had scattered. 

Bull shook his head as he dragged Dalish behind him. The Vint was sneakier than even he had suspected if they had kept this so quiet that even he hadn’t noticed.


End file.
